Customer Service is a farce.

I missed a week of life drawing two weeks ago and the week before that was long pose, so I don't have much yet to post. I'd rather wait.

Anyhow, had this is my draftbox. It was my intention to send this, and in fact, I thought I had. Now that I had a chance to read it sober - anger sober - I've reconsidered.

Funny as hell though, bwahahaha.

To: jerrys.customerservice@jerrysartarama.com,

You ass licking thundercunts. Half a year ago I told you to STOP, as in DESIST, as in FUCKING QUIT, sending me your catalog. The e-mails I was able to deal with, that's what the spam filter is for. Although, any sentient being would have assumed, correctly, that if I didn't want your ridiculous baboon-ass smelling catalog I didn't want your retarded fucking e-mails either, but, you guys don't have any sentient beings working thar do ya'? Whatever, spam folder saves the day.
Until you sent me another catalog. Not only did the thing fill my tiny little mailbox, denying access for any other mail, it smelled like fucking balls. I lit it on fire.

Surely you don't have record of why I asked you to stop sending the catalog? If that's the case... I can almost guarantee that the incompetent ass-licking customer service representative I talked to that day was either mental, drunk, or high as a fucking kite, so I'll remind you:

I ordered a myriad of supplies from you six months back [Last December], all at a really nice discount. I was real excited about it... Until you cunt fuckers rescinded the offers by selling more than you actually had in stock. A month passes, and I still don't have the paintbrushes. I give you a call where I am then told, by the grunting employee who was probably playing with himself - so nonchalant and apathetic as he was, that the items are back ordered for a couple months.
Whatever, shit happens, I can wait, etc.

A few weeks later I see you have those brushes listed as IN STOCK again. Of course I call. Paraphrasing: "We do have the brushes, but we cancel all orders after a month." "Oh, well, I never said I wanted mine cancelled." "It is mentioned on the website" "On the page where one orders? Or in some obscure link at the bottom?" "I'm not sure mam'." ..."Well, I want it re-instated or whatever. I want the same prices too." "We can't do that mam', your order was cancelled and we took the charge off of your card. It would have to be full price."

So, to sum it up, that women actually flat out told me that your company cheats people out of sales.
YOU ARE ALL BAGS OF SHIT.

This is an example of the cheap underhanded way you probably utalize to deal with ALL your customers. "We are out of _____. We cancelled your order as a convenience to you. We aplogize... Wanna' pay full price now!?"


I hope you all choke on gigantic clitoris. I say this instead of 'dick' because I know for a fact that all your mail employees must have micropenis. All your female staff members are disgustingly butchish, so I figure the abnormal levels of testosterone resulted in average size penises for all.

And, In conclusion: STOP SENDING ME YOUR ASS-SMELLING CATALOG! Stop rubbing them all over baboon's asses. Cunts.

Read more...

Blorg.

Short poses. 2 minutes.




Long poses. Ranges from 10-20. I'll figure it out later.






Sketchbook shit. drawings from life save this first one: My left hand. One or two are of my right, drawn w/ my left I think.


Some classes are very very very boring...
Forgot about this. Jazz band concert at GVHS last year.
Actually, this may be from a picture. I need to start writing down details.
More left.
I love the cranes. I have paintings in progress of these fuckers.
I've been drawing a lot, but ain't really been drawin' anything good, if you know what I mean.

Read more...

Googling

There are coffee rings on the carpet in my room. Euch

Going to post every three weeks, if at all, from here on.

Still going to lyfe drawing, but blogging seems stupid unless I'm going to art school soon or blogging about Biology.

On that note, probably stickin' to UNLV despite all my griping. If I transer anywhere it will be UNR. I like it well enough, mostly because no one bothers me. Very anti-social university. Few parties though. I actually got invites on the days I dressed 'nice'. :cough: Trampy :cough: Faux cleavage is a pal.

-----

Oh, and pay no mind to the name change. My mom keeps Googling me and finding my blog. Next thing you know, its, "Celeeeeeste!"

"What!!!!??"

"Take down that stuff about you hating your drawings!"

"What!?"

"You're blog! And why the fuck do you have to say fuck so much!?"

"Hahahaha."

"I'm serious, you know our family, they all probably read this!"

"Fuck that! Stop Googling me!"

Small moment of silence.

"OoooOOOoh! Why can't I see your facebook page!?"

Oh, look, I pulled some of my hair out.

So, no one can Google me if my name is Canary Turds. Its a non sequitur, so no possiblity of stumbling upon my blog by accident Googling.

WIN.

Read more...

Sick as a $#%@

Oh, on the way home I saw a poor hooker getting slapped around by her pimp on the corner of Las Vegas Blvd. Poor thing.

Sinus Infection =

Bad night of figure drawing. That and I still can't loosen up. Dunno' whats wrong with me.

It was a long pose night, and I didn't know, otherwise I'd have brought paint; I only brought pencils and watercolours and charcoals and fuck. Anyway, should I post at all?

No. Maybe tomorrow. I'm going to bed. Or, as it were, the futon mattress on the floor which is draped with a comforter older than I am which reeks of Bath and Body Works and moth balls.

Eugh.

-----

I grimace while I'm drawing, because I can't stand to look at my shit. I bite my lip and I glare and I sneer and I grimace and I narrow my eyes at paper like the schizophrenic fuck everyone thinks I am. But if I wait a while, and look back, I say, "That's not so bad."

I wonder if this is because I don't picture it properly while I'm working. <-- Wrong.

I wonder if this is because I do real terrible work and only accept it later because I actually lower my own standards by sucking so fucking hard. <-- Wright!

I'm partial to the second answer. It has an f-bomb.

------

Two of the ones I sort of like right now. This will change come morning. They're terrible quality, but you can kind of tell what is going on... I guess.

2-5 minutes. That just makes it worse doesn't it? UGH, GO AWAY SINUS INFECTION!!!

Read more...

Lyfe Drawin'

(I as all drawin' an' shit and I looked up an' da' model's ahm had moved! Go with the flow.) This is godawful. But I am too, so its okay.

An older bunch. Huuuuuuuupe, I misplaced these too. I just took pictures of the weird ones to show some folks what new stuff I was trying. The ones I actually liked are yet to be photoed.

Few weeks ago. There are more, and better ones in my opinion. But I started hiding my drawing somewhere. Somewhere I can't remember.

I lost my double bass once.

Don't doubt my ability to misplace things.

Really. Don't do it.

Night a fewer weeks ago when model did not show. Drew each other.






Had an off night tonight. Sore, sore, sore, sore, sore.

Been really off my game lately. Consistently mediocre really, and I'm hating it.

My hand keeps shaking while I work, while I write, and I don't know why. I've had blood tests recently, nothing on that front. Maybe drawing around other people nerves me out...

These are practice bitches I did before last weeks session.

(From Character Designs .com I believe)

Shows right? Either I just had a good practice that day and my desk chair is super comfortable. Or, I am mistaken and these are shit too.

OR!?

That other thing up there.

Saying, 'Oh, I'm not as anxious as I used to be,' all the time does not make it true...

They don't look that bad actually. I think they're improving.

Although, I did cut off the cuticle with an Xacto the other night. Man, my nails heal faaaaast.

Read more...

Back on the Art Horse.

Yet... Still...

Not sure what I'm going to do.

Do as in 'do with my life'.

Currently a Biology - Ecology and Evolutionary Biology - major at UNLV. I'm unsure from here.

I want to be an artist.

That is a given.

I just cant decide whether I want to be a painter on the side, whose real job is illustrating for medical, biological, and anatomy texts, or if I want to do what I really want an---

...

What I really want. What I really really want is to paint, draw, paint, draw, paint, draw, paint, draw, paint, draw, and draw until my hands fall off, and proceed to sell those things I drew. Wanna' paint too. I want to have a studio, and take commisions, and write comics, and illustrate stories, and draw for MAD.

But I could do any number of those thing along w/ illustrating learning texts, but it would have to be more of a side job. I don't want a side job to worry about.

So, it would definitely have to be a hobby.

I don't pay much attention to my 'hobbies', e.g. playing double bass, playing accordion, playing ocarina, writing stories, eclectic sculpture, making comics, baking garbage, etc... It would die.

Ahh, hell, I'll figure it out when I figure it out!

These varied paths have one something in common- something that I can work on in the meantime, while I work on a decision, and its ART. Whup. Art.

Accurate drawing skill is more like it.

Figure drawing sessions on Tuesday 7-10. Been going the last three weeks. Will post pictures this coming Tuesday.

I am hearing of a few other life drawing classes around town. So far the only other one I know exists is at Art Institute on Saturdays - when I have fucking lab.

Love labs though, thank gosh.

Don't drink Monster Nitrous after 6:00, because you won't be able to get to sleep before 2:00 a.m. Although, I should thank the damned things. If I didn't drink one I would fall asleep drawing every tuesday.

I have more energy these days, I think I can blame that for my renewed vigor.

Psssst. Anti Gravity is the best flavour.

Yeah, lots of comma splices, but, do you really think I care? No? That's right! So don't point it out jackass, you'll only get called a jackass, you jackass. Fucking jackass.

Fucking jackass fuck.

Read more...

Watchmen Movie

Oh... Oh dear. It seems that the director either was missing in action, and by shear coincidence the movie was allowed to be manipulated by a bitter Marvel fan. Or. The director was a huge Comedian fan and neglected to think about the fans who consist mostly of Rorschach fans, myself included.

Since I was about, lets say 11... I had this graphic novel lying around in my house. Until I was 14 though, I did not truly pick it up and read it. Until then the cover was a yellow monstrosity with catsup smeared on a black hole thing. I never really pronounce my fandom, because I never heard anyone else talk about Watchmen. It was a New York times bestseller, yet, like most NYtimes books, news faded way before I read. I kind of just assumed a quiet love for the characters. It never occured to me to check the fraking internet, Duh!

I did not find out a movie was being made until I was at a Border's with friends and saw Watchmen on display on the front tables.

"Woah! Did that get really popular all of a sudden? That's kind of neat, it is really old."

"Dude, there is a movie coming out, that is why they are selling it up here."

"No way! Are you fucking serious!"

A lot of whooping and hollering ensued. Although, now I kind of want to hit myself for not thinking, "Wow, this is such a great comic, I bet it has a huge fan following, maybe I should check it out online!" No. Because I am too stupid for that. At least this taught me to now stay on top of my favorites, Action Philosophers, Ender's Game - DUDE, they are making a movie of that too! Man, lesson learned!


Back to business.

I did not get the political aspects until I was in High School. I can truly say it is the most likely culprit in slowly changin my political views. I kept it in my drawer by my bed, and read it all the time. Along with other comics and novels. I have gone cover to cover over 30 times. Slowly but surely. The thing is beaten. I even read all that really long 'boring' stuff in between chapters. That is why I still anticipate the Minutemen tribute coming out on the 24 "Under the Hood." Along with the fantastic pirate adventure animation! It is why I knew Captain Metropolis and Hooded Justice where sadomasochists. Fun stuff huh? There is a lot of information behind the characters. it is the best part of the comic I thought, as I did have to read it so many times to really appreciate it. Exactly what I was hoping for from the film.

A lot of character insite. Along with the much loved political commentary of Moore. It was the sex scenes and the violence. Even made up violence...

Fuck!

Rorscach is righteous. He does not deter from his set morals. That is why when the director changed his story (and fucking rushed throughn it) it ruined scenes to come.

Ugh. I could go on forever. But I really just want to make this last point:

The director changed the ending. I hate unannounced spoilers as much as I hate warning people of them. So no mention, I will just be really vague. The ending was a grand political move set into action by Ozymandias. A move which would definitely have the desired affect. The director's take, well... It would get the United States blown up in opinion, increasing hostilities, and the world would only unite so that they could create vast amounts of nuclear weapons to attack you-know-what, thus littering the milky way with it, and fuck... All around there were just too many loopholes. I liked the original one so much...

I know everyone who ever read Watchmen was anticipating the end. Ugh!

I think they did it for the same reason fucking Marvel turned Galactis into a damned cloud! To skimp on special effects! Fuckers.


Eveything... Looking back... It was like the director took all the good scenes, shot them really well, but neglected to remember that - All those scenes were only the most amazing thing ever because the transitions between where smooth, similarly awesome, and the writing articulate. You need to be careful turing a written work into a film, a picture says a thousand words, but are they the right ones?

No. Not for the most part.

In any case, I save my FINAL verdict for the DVD release. Maybe the director shot the actual ending and changed it to create something new for the fans.

Casting was great though. Maybe Rorschach's bits were rushed because the directors kid was cast as kid Rorschach. Damn, talk about traumatizing the thing.

Read more...